. First – I’m happy I started. Otherwise I wouldn’t have known if I could have a good race after my worst taper week ever. Now I know: I couldn’t.
When I work with leadership and team development, sales performance or company culture I sometimes refer to professionalism as ”when you’re not just good at what you do, but you’re consciously aware HOW you do it in order to perform well”.
The main advantage of being consciously competent is that your lowest level of performance rise, i.e the difference between ”a bad day” and ”a good day” decrease, due to that fact that you can use your skills in combination with discipline and still put up a descent performance on a day when you’re not ”in shape”.
Today I acted professionally.
The rest is best described as disaster.
When the canon went off I immediately got a fist over my goggles so the left eye was filled with water. I continued swimming with left eye closed (I wear lenses…) until the field had calmed down and then emptied it. But the goggles was the minor problem, I was completely lacking strength. It simply wasn’t there. I pressed on focusing on technique, but I had to stop twice to catch breath and pull myself together. I had hoped for ”a good day” but my swimming was a joke compared to races like Motala World C or The Swe Champs over 70.3 distance in Vätter Challenge. I find myself thinking of a swim cool down instead of race swimming 😦
When I exited the water I walked (!) while zipping my wetsuit, trying to get some air and find inspiration.
Out in the bike I soon realized that the power meter had stopped working… I spend the first 10 k trying to get it going and then gave it up. I don’t use heart rate any longer (since I prefer watts…). So I find my self left with: Distance on the computer and ”race based on feeling”. Great – since I feel weaker than ever…
In the first aid station I catch a bottle of water – and that’s crucial since its super hot and before the next aid station there’s a brutal climb over +10 k.
Too bad the bottle slipped out of my hand when I was to take the first sip… Well – just bring it on!
I enter the steep hill with neither watts nor water 😦
At least I didn’t have to carry any extra weight up the mountain 😀
I manage to loose another bottle in an aid station when the cap falls apart… But there I stop and go back for a new – I simply won’t make it without fluid another 20 k.
Finally I reach T2 and start running. The first kilometer is ok, but as soon as I reach Zell and there’s a slight ascent I realize that No – I ain’t gonna run good today either. We’re talking a few meters upwards, and I really have to fight to push my self up the ”hill”. So – Once again I have to accept the situation and alter my ambition. Let’s just try to finish this in a descent way. So I try to focus on the technique and stay running. I walk through the majority of the aid stations and at one point I feel so dizzy that I stop for a while.
The joy is hard to find. I fight not to let the feelings of disappointment and failure take over. I know how to do this and tell my self to be professional – ”I’m here to race – so keep racing”. So – I keep racing, or at least running. The race feeling never shows up.
The finish line is a relief. It is as simple as that.
– I’ve never been so disappointed after a race. I actually find my self wiping of a tear when I talk to Åsa once I had been let out of the medical tent where they gave me i.v. (a medical officer found lying on the pavement hard to get in contact with…)
– I’m proud of the way I managed to stay swimming, biking and running even though I realized that my performance wouldn’t be close to the podium or what I know I’m capable of ”a good day”. I actually would like to claim that this was one of my most professional race performances ever!
I know that many people followed the race – and I really appreciate all the support I get. Sorry I couldn’t deliver a podium performance today. But – I learned a lot and I think there still is a few slots left on the training camp with me and Clas Björling in November – I really look forward to share my experiences and help others to perform – on good days and on bad days!
Super thanks to everybody who’s supporting me – on good and bad days. Especially Åsa, Hilde and Vendla – you’re are the meaning of my life.
The stuff and services that helped me perform decently despite the lack of power:
Argon 18 E118 (fast even when you’re powerless:-) )
Bike Tyson – 25% off on all bikes now I think!
Richard at Napraidrott – you’re awesome!
La Manga Club training resort – you bet I’m looking forward to get there and train for future podiums!
Nordic Wellness – all over the country – always close and open when I get time for a session.
32GI energy – endurance energy!
BraBil – lite personligare och mycket sportingare.
FUSION – great gear that help me to make it to the finish despite the heat!
Invictus Travel & Training – book to become You. Just stronger!
And once again: THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE SUPPORT!